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Sana ulaşmak için illa Tanrı mı olmak gerekir?

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Binlerce kez bilinmeyeni çözdüm,’sen’ bilinmeyenini henüz değil…
Bilinmezlerin ülkesinde,bilinmezin ta kendisisin.
Ulaşmak isteyip, bunun için zorlandığım tek kişisin.
Önemlisin,
Ulaşılamadığın için değil,
Yada bilinmeyenleri çözmeye alıştığımdan da değil.
Sen ‘ben’im ülkemden olduğun için önemlisin.
Bende var olduğun için sana verdiğim değer.
Hani,
İsmini hiç duymadığın bir ülkenin,
İsmini hiç duymadığın yüksek bir dağında açan,
İsmi hiç bilinmeyen,
Bir çiçek misali.
Ona ulaşan olmadı daha, ondan bu bilinmezliği.
Ne çok benzer yönünüz var dimi!
Söylesene!
Sana ulaşmak için illa Tanrı mı olmak gerekir?
Öyleyse,
Tanrım!
Bana biraz kendinden ver.
Öyle yap ki,
Onuda kendim gibi ebedi kılayım.
Ezelde yok isek bile ebedde olalım.
Ebed müddet beraber olalım onunla.
Öyle yap ki,
Onun kusursuzluğu ile benim kusursuzluğum eşitlensin.
Kusursuz bir dünyada,kusursuzca,
Hayatı sekteye uğratmadan,ertelemeden yaşayalım birazda olsa.
Öyle yap ki,
Gündüzleri yok edebileyim.
Geceler neyimize yetmiyor ki!
Öyle yap ki,
Gurur duyabileyim kendimle,
Bütün insanları öldürebildiğim için.
Bir ben kalayım,
Bir de o.
Yetmez mi sanki!
Ama en önemlisi,
Sen öyle yap ki,
Ona gülümsemekten başka bir yüz ifadesini haram kılayım.
Ve en büyük günahları da ‘sahte gülümseyiş’leri olsun…
Söylesene!
Sana ulaşmak için illa Tanrı mı olmak gerekir?
Öyleyse,
Tanrım!
Bana biraz kendinden ver.

e.ayhttp://ozamanalkisliyoruz.blogspot.com/2008/12/sevgileri-yarnlara-braktk.html

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