bir avuntu
belki’lerle başlayan her şey keşkelerle bitmek zorunde değildi belki evet ama bu bi’ istisna değildi. istisna olsaydı kaideyi bozabilecek kadar güçlü bi’ istisna olurdu ‘belki’ ama, değildi işte.
yeşil çam filmlerinde abartılı anlatımlar vardır (Yedi Bela Hüsnü filmindeki Kemal Sunal için “tek parmağıyla öküzü kaldırıyormuş!” söylemi gibi) öyle işte biraz.
biz de o filmleri aratmıyoruz,
abartılı yaşıyoruz(bunu bi’ yerlerde yazmıştım daha önce hatta insanları hayatımızın merkezine çekiyoruz filan da demiştim, şimdi hatırladım. boşuna yazmışım. farkındalık önemlidir ama tek başına yeterli değildir.)
abartılı yaşıyoruz hafif mi kaldı biraz sanki, şöyle söyleyelim;
her şeyin bokunu çıkarıyoruz.
merkeze geçip bi’ kapsama alanı belirlememiz gerekirken, belirlenmiş kapsama alanlarını ısrarla zorluyoruz.
böyle sınırları zorlarken farkına varıyoruz işte aslında özgür olmadığımızı hiç bi zaman olamayacağımızı(emrah serbesin afili parçalarında vardı bu; kendimizi özgür zannediyoruz oysaki sadece ipimizi biraz uzun bırakmışlar. Sınırlara gelince fark ediliyor bu.)
bu yazı toparlanmayacak Johnny Cash’in “Walk The Line” parçasını önererek bitireyim bu işkenceyi burada.
***
yaşanmadığı halde üzen bi’ şeydi bu.
yaşanmadığı için üzen bi’ şeyden ziyade.
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