gözlerimi kapattığıma bakmayın, orada olduğunuzu biliyorum
2010’dan bu yana yazdım bir şeyler. (öncesi de var gerçi ama şimdi 2010’a kadar gidebildim kendimce.)
yazdığım her yazıda karşımda biri-birileri- vardı.
karşımda kimse kalmadığından değil uzun zamandır yazmamam-yazamamam-
gözlerimi kapattım sadece.
ama gözelerimi kapattığıma bakmayın, orada olduğunuzu biliyorum.
*
sen mesela,
“ne çok benzer yönümüz var değil mi?”
hatırla mesela, “karanlıkta nüfus sayımı şöyle yapılır, yaşayanlar bir sigara yakar.” dediğimde sigaranı yakmak üzere olduğun zamanı hatırla.
*
sen,
en büyük kazancım, en derin kaybım.
“eğleniyorsak sorun yok” dediğimde uğradığın hayal kırıklığını hatırla.
çok hayal kırmadım ben(*) bundan belki de o anı unutamayışım.
*
sen,
en umutsuz olduğum anda elini uzatıp beni yukarı çeken sen.
ne çok şey öğrendim senden.
öğrendiğimde çok geç olmuştu belki ama “iyi ki”lerin başını çeken sen.
*
sen,
okumazsın, görmezsin bu yazıyı sen.
yine de Sen’siz olmaz bu yazı dediğim sen.
*
ve sen,
suskunluğumun sebebi sen.
suskunluğumun utancıma sebep olmasına sebep sen.
kırdığım en büyük hayal, sen.
*
karşımdasınız hepiniz, suskunluklarınız birbirine karışıyor.
sırayla susun,
anlamıyorum.
*
(yazının rezilliğin daniskası olduğunu ben de biliyorum.-edebi anlamda değil. anlarsınız ya.- ama görün işte gerçek ben’i.)
*
ben iyi bi’ adam olamadım.
27.464 comments
darknet market url=https://github.com/aresmarketlink0ru72/aresmarketlink dark web drug marketplace /url
darknet markets onion url=https://github.com/tormarkets2025ukaz1/tormarkets2025 dark websites /url
darknet sites url=https://github.com/darknetmarketlistv8tg0/darknetmarketlist darknet market links /url
dark markets 2025 url=https://github.com/aresmarketlink0ru72/aresmarketlink darknet marketplace /url
darkmarket 2025 url=https://github.com/nexusdarkneturlwrf4t/nexusdarkneturl best darknet markets /url
darkmarkets url=https://github.com/tormarkets2025ukaz1/tormarkets2025 dark market url /url
dark web drug marketplace url=https://github.com/nexusdarkneturlwrf4t/nexusdarkneturl bitcoin dark web /url
dark web marketplaces url=https://github.com/aresmarketlink0ru72/aresmarketlink dark web market list /url
dark market 2025 url=https://github.com/aresmarketlink0ru72/aresmarketlink dark web drug marketplace /url
darknet markets 2025 url=https://github.com/darknetmarketlinks2025/darknetmarkets dark market onion /url
darknet markets onion address url=https://github.com/darknetmarketlistv8tg0/darknetmarketlist dark web marketplaces /url
dark websites url=https://github.com/nexusdarkneturlwrf4t/nexusdarkneturl darknet links /url
dark web marketplaces url=https://github.com/darknetmarketlistv8tg0/darknetmarketlist dark market link /url
darkmarket list url=https://github.com/nexusdarkneturlwrf4t/nexusdarkneturl dark web marketplaces /url
dark web market url=https://github.com/aresmarketlink0ru72/aresmarketlink darkmarket link /url
tor drug market url=https://github.com/aresmarketlink0ru72/aresmarketlink darkmarkets /url
dark market onion url=https://github.com/nexusdarkneturlwrf4t/nexusdarkneturl dark market list /url
darknet markets 2025 url=https://github.com/darknetmarketlistv8tg0/darknetmarketlist darknet marketplace /url
onion dark website url=https://github.com/tormarkets2025ukaz1/tormarkets2025 darknet site /url
darknet market list url=https://github.com/aresmarketlink0ru72/aresmarketlink darknet market lists /url
dark web market url=https://github.com/tormarkets2025ukaz1/tormarkets2025 darknet drug market /url
dark web market links url=https://github.com/nexusdarkneturlwrf4t/nexusdarkneturl darknet markets /url
darknet markets url url=https://github.com/aresmarketlink0ru72/aresmarketlink dark market link /url
darknet markets url=https://github.com/nexusdarkneturlwrf4t/nexusdarkneturl darknet drug links /url
dark market url url=https://github.com/darknetmarketlinks2025/darknetmarkets darknet websites /url
darknet drug store url=https://github.com/tormarkets2025ukaz1/tormarkets2025 darkmarket link /url
dark web marketplaces url=https://github.com/aresmarketlink0ru72/aresmarketlink darknet markets 2025 /url
dark market link url=https://github.com/darknetmarketlistv8tg0/darknetmarketlist best darknet markets /url
darkmarket url=https://github.com/aresmarketlink0ru72/aresmarketlink dark web market urls /url
darknet drugs url=https://github.com/nexusdarkneturlwrf4t/nexusdarkneturl darknet market /url
dark web market url=https://github.com/darknetmarketlistv8tg0/darknetmarketlist dark market list /url
dark web sites url=https://github.com/aresmarketlink0ru72/aresmarketlink dark web sites /url
best darknet markets url=https://github.com/nexusdarkneturlwrf4t/nexusdarkneturl darknet markets onion address /url
darkmarket url url=https://github.com/nexusdarkneturlwrf4t/nexusdarkneturl dark web marketplaces /url
dark web market urls url=https://github.com/aresmarketlink0ru72/aresmarketlink dark market link /url
dark market onion url=https://github.com/tormarkets2025ukaz1/tormarkets2025 dark web link /url
darkmarket 2025 url=https://github.com/darknetmarketlistv8tg0/darknetmarketlist darknet markets /url
dark web market list url=https://github.com/aresmarketlink0ru72/aresmarketlink dark market link /url
darknet markets onion address url=https://github.com/darknetmarketlinks2025/darknetmarkets darkmarket 2025 /url
darknet drug links url=https://github.com/tormarkets2025ukaz1/tormarkets2025 darknet links /url
dark market onion url=https://github.com/nexusdarkneturlwrf4t/nexusdarkneturl dark markets 2025 /url
darknet markets url=https://github.com/nexusdarkneturlwrf4t/nexusdarkneturl dark websites /url
dark web markets url=https://github.com/aresmarketlink0ru72/aresmarketlink darknet drug store /url
dark web market url=https://github.com/tormarkets2025ukaz1/tormarkets2025 darknet markets /url
darkmarket link url=https://github.com/aresmarketlink0ru72/aresmarketlink bitcoin dark web /url
dark web market urls url=https://github.com/darknetmarketlinks2025/darknetmarkets dark web link /url
dark web sites url=https://github.com/darknetmarketlistv8tg0/darknetmarketlist darknet markets links /url
darknet markets onion address url=https://github.com/darknetmarketlistv8tg0/darknetmarketlist darknet market list /url
darknet drug store url=https://github.com/darknetmarketlistv8tg0/darknetmarketlist dark web marketplaces /url
darknet markets 2025 url=https://github.com/nexusdarkneturlwrf4t/nexusdarkneturl dark web sites /url