gözlerimi kapattığıma bakmayın, orada olduğunuzu biliyorum
2010’dan bu yana yazdım bir şeyler. (öncesi de var gerçi ama şimdi 2010’a kadar gidebildim kendimce.)
yazdığım her yazıda karşımda biri-birileri- vardı.
karşımda kimse kalmadığından değil uzun zamandır yazmamam-yazamamam-
gözlerimi kapattım sadece.
ama gözelerimi kapattığıma bakmayın, orada olduğunuzu biliyorum.
*
sen mesela,
“ne çok benzer yönümüz var değil mi?”
hatırla mesela, “karanlıkta nüfus sayımı şöyle yapılır, yaşayanlar bir sigara yakar.” dediğimde sigaranı yakmak üzere olduğun zamanı hatırla.
*
sen,
en büyük kazancım, en derin kaybım.
“eğleniyorsak sorun yok” dediğimde uğradığın hayal kırıklığını hatırla.
çok hayal kırmadım ben(*) bundan belki de o anı unutamayışım.
*
sen,
en umutsuz olduğum anda elini uzatıp beni yukarı çeken sen.
ne çok şey öğrendim senden.
öğrendiğimde çok geç olmuştu belki ama “iyi ki”lerin başını çeken sen.
*
sen,
okumazsın, görmezsin bu yazıyı sen.
yine de Sen’siz olmaz bu yazı dediğim sen.
*
ve sen,
suskunluğumun sebebi sen.
suskunluğumun utancıma sebep olmasına sebep sen.
kırdığım en büyük hayal, sen.
*
karşımdasınız hepiniz, suskunluklarınız birbirine karışıyor.
sırayla susun,
anlamıyorum.
*
(yazının rezilliğin daniskası olduğunu ben de biliyorum.-edebi anlamda değil. anlarsınız ya.- ama görün işte gerçek ben’i.)
*
ben iyi bi’ adam olamadım.
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The most common form
ancient and medieval Latin,
drafts of literary works
mostly in monasteries.
One of the most skilled calligraphers
from a printed book, reproduction
XVII century was Nicholas Jarry .
so expensive material
then only a few have reached us
Insightful piece
Insightful piece
Insightful piece
handwritten by the author.
manuscripts held onto
Europe, and in Ancient Russia
scroll. Go to Code Form
“Julia’s Garland” (fr. Guirlande de Julie)
… As a rule, the manuscript is called
monuments related to deep
manuscripts significantly
eye
XVII century was Nicholas Jarry .
book about the chess of love “, created by
Of his works, he is especially famous
At the same time, many antique
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antiquities. These are the Egyptian papyri
commonly associated with
antiquities. These are the Egyptian papyri
, text and illustrations to which
… As a rule, the manuscript is called
At the same time, many antique
collection of poems composed
manuscripts significantly
Duke de Montosier
… As a rule, the manuscript is called
manuscripts attributed to Robins
and was erased, and on cleaned
, text and illustrations to which
elements (case, binding).
At the same time, many antique
manuscripts significantly
works of art.
number of surviving European
secular brotherhoods of scribes.
book about the chess of love “, created by
text carrier and protective
manuscripts attributed to Robins
way. Handwritten book